When You Can't Believe

 When You Can't Believe What They See In You

'Hey! She is amazing. I would not do what you did. You did an incredible job! How wonderful! ' How do you react to meaningless compliments? Do you back off, pay little attention to what they say, do not believe what they see in you, suspect that they are just being polite, or do you just smile and enjoy the moment and say, 'Thank you?

While some modesty is good and prevents us from becoming overconfident, it is also important to be able to appreciate our strengths, skills, and abilities in certain areas. It is good to let others know and accept that some of the things we experience in a relatively comfortable and relaxed environment may be perceived by others as frightening and frustrating.

Often there are things about us that we cannot even imagine. Our natural abilities in the areas where we work well, which we take for granted in a relatively lax way. 'Anyone can do that, it's nothing, we might say.

That idea may have been reinforced by family members, teachers, and religious counselors, who felt a strong sense of humor and disdain for praise and recognition. Modesty and lowliness of mind were considered praiseworthy and everything else was regarded as vanity, arrogance, headship, and dislike.

As a result, we may learn to control our temper and not be overly strict in our views, preferring to avoid any healthy conversation and debate, not wanting to attract too much attention. With words like, 'people like us, 'who we think we are', ringing in our ears how we can capture such ideas, be so confident, and have the courage to stand up for what we think or believe! When others automatically appear better, brighter, smarter, fitter, and more privileged we are more likely to stay where we are and be grateful for what we have.

We may have learned to change our beliefs, our dress, and grooming, or even to undermine any feelings that might be interpreted as loud or clear because we are afraid of being rejected or ridiculed for fear of attracting any criticism. This fear may seem to be a source of uncertainty and can have a detrimental effect on our normal friendships and our happiness, as we may have been hesitant to appear shy or more.

However, even if some of our skills are easily acquired, that does not diminish. A person who is skilled in numbers, a natural homemaker, a good organizer, or who has a natural approach to people has many others who can be jealous and happy that they have gotten to know them well.

Others may look at us and see the result, the calm ability to deal with it, the problem solver, and always the good result. However, as they admire our skills and abilities, we can only see ourselves passing by and unworthy of such recognition.

1- In the workplace, our colleagues may regard us as a coach or a director, a professional set of skills, who always enjoys training others to be superior and competent. Although we may speak badly about our level of ability, we may appear to be experts in our field and may be regarded as such. We may lose such respect, we have been doing this for a long time, but equally a level of technology that requires hard work to maintain. Let it be known!

2- Socially we can praise others as rich, attractive, or worldly-wise but, while doing so, they may look at our relevant features, and find themselves attractive and compelling. They may love our values and crave our simple lifestyle, our sense of humor, ingenuity, and company. They visualize us, not being corrupted by our doubts and insecurities.

3- And what if someone in the intellectual family, has the potential to be a rising star, and you are not! Do you see yourself as a failure, with little or no success because of not going to university or pursuing a career? But others may be genuinely jealous of you for your athletic ability, your artistic ability, your relaxed lifestyle, and your natural ability in areas where they lack special skills. There is a need for a whole range of skills, and each has its place in the circular society.

4-Accepting commendation, commenting, and attention may be difficult as we wonder if it is true and genuine. Can we really believe that people think we are perfect, that they say wonderful things about us! Yes, lowering yourself in small doses is fine, even appealing at times. But learning to be confident and comfortable with commendation, recognition, and positive feedback is also interesting. A smile when we say 'thank you is usually just what is needed.

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